I thought I was prepared. I prayed and worked hard to stay surrendered and open to His hands over our daily-ness. Then these 19 humans came crashing with grace and mercy into my life as we joined our hearts together. We boarded and exited planes, vans and trucks only after praying and surrendering and giving all glory to Him.
It quickly became comfortable. This new Haitian family. Their laughter and teasing, their hugs and smiles. The hands of sweet girl friends willing to braid hair and serve breakfast. The hands and feet of strong, humble men preparing coffee, leading spiritually and protecting. What grace. Sweetness. Mercy.
And it began. The breaking of my heart even more than these last months. I had no idea. No idea that so much would change and so swiftly. Our first night at New Life was welcoming and safe.
But oh, how He is safe and yet Untamed. These servants rescue special needs orphans from the jungle. They bring them to a warm landing spot that feels like His lap. My tears flow quickly and warmly down my cheeks. I immediately begin to feel and think that they are not well cared for. Why are they here? Where are those caring for them? I was not prepared for what I truly do not and did not see. Open my eyes.
Father forgive me for trying to be You. Your love and care is PERFECT. These are your beloved ones. You protect and love with such precision and care. Give me the mind of Christ, the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, I trust you Lord.. guide me. My eyes flew open and heart was laid bare as He proceeded to overwhelm me with His Presence. Already receiving more than my hands and heart can give.. how and why do You LOVE so BIG?